Darkness

Recent events have drastically impacted my life. Few people know the feeling of utter darkness until they have experienced a tragedy. The loss of Hunter Graham's life was the definition of a tragedy.

He did nothing but love and care yet somehow his life was taken. The facts do not add up and there is nothing logical about this entire ideal. I have run it through my head a million times and all I tend to reach is an abundance of unanswerable questions. All these questions lead me to place of darkness where I can't stop asking why?... No one will ever know so there is no one to ask these questions. When I try to piece this entire ordeal together all I get is darkness.

There is no handbook on how to deal with tragedies. From this recent experience I have witnessed how people deal with such a tragedy. Most cling to their faith while others fully rely on the family. I was brought up on reasoning, there is a reason for everything, and trying to find the reason behind this only leads me back again into the darkness. I have come to believe that the loss of Hunter Graham is the exception to laws of reasoning. So what do I cling to?...

I have taken great appreciation in being able communicate with Hunter's friends and family all of the amazing memories I have experienced with this unforgettable kid. The memories draw me back out of the darkness and the friends seem to make everything all right.

This darkness and grief is something that I have to learn how to deal with. It has lessened due to the amount of time I have spent with friends remembering and when I am remembering all is good. As I sit here alone the cloud of darkness and grief has seemed to float back into my head just as it does anytime that I am alone.

I have taken great solace in having my camera next to me through these troubled times. As usual I shoot when it feels right. Just this morning I reviewed these photos from the week and I have realized that I have been expressing this darkness through the images without trying. Most of these images I wish not to post but I feel as if I have to use at least a few.

Rest in Peace Hunter, my love goes to your family.